Most Hong Kong people value their families highly but many overlook the importance of communicating with family members because they are so busy. The SHKP Club conducted a Hong Kong Family Survey to help couples maintain their love and strengthen parent-children relations. The findings show that communicating is necessary for happy, loving families. We hope the survey findings will help build loving homes.
Love is simple. Looking after your well-being, staying healthy and saving loved ones from worry by promptly seeking medical advice for sickness, for example, all show love in action. The survey showed that 80 to 90% of those interviewed wanted family members to stay healthy and 60 to 70% hoped their families would live happy, loving lives. And health means physical as well as mental well-being. Maintaining good physical and mental health, sharing good times with your partner and giving mutual support leads to happier, longer and better lives.
Family members may unintentionally say things that hurt others because they are close. The survey showed that negative comments like "You are so annoying!" are the most likely to cause upset. Other comments like "Think like a grown up!", "You are so useless.", "Why can't you do it like others?", "I don't want to talk about it. You won't understand anyway." and "You are not as good as her husband!" can all damage relationships with family members. Paying more attention to what you say is one of the secrets to a happy family. When it comes to expressing ideas or making requests, people should be calm and only say what they want at the right time. Be careful not to inadvertently hurt people’s feelings by unconsciously including negative sentiments in what you say.
Nearly 40% of the wives, husbands and parents interviewed thought the most heart-breaking thing was to be ignored by family members. A clinical psychologist from the Hong Kong Family Welfare Society said that negative behaviour like direct criticism or not paying attention can easily upset people. People’s basic instinct is to reject criticism and possibly invent excuses to justify their actions. Experts suggest that in the course of disagreements people should be more considerate of others so they feel loved and respected. This will enhance personal resilience and motivate them to work and grow with their family.
A happy family can fill life with positive energy. Experts suggest filling one other's ‘affection bank’ with energy to create a happy, loving family. Here are five easy ways to show more love:
A word of praise a day makes him / her feel appreciated and recognized.
Value what others have done for you and your family.
Try to listen and understand when others spout off before giving advice.
Spend 10-15 minutes every night to share anecdotes and little stories. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say when talking.
Express love with action and show support with gestures like holding hands or a pat on the shoulder.
The Club listed out things Loving Families do and don't do based on the survey, and compiled a list of warm words from previous loving-home activities into a Loving Home from the Heart notebook for charity sale to further promote family harmony. Notebooks cost HK$30 and all proceeds will go to the Hong Kong Family Welfare Society. Savour the true meaning of family love and extend that care to more people in need.
Love comes from good communication. The first requirement for a happy, loving home is communicating with each other (68%). This allows the exchange of kindness and care with deeper mutual understanding.
You can purchase Loving Home from the Heart notebooks through the following channels:
|At the SHKP Club office
Monday to Friday: 9:00 am to 5:00 pm
Saturday: 9:00 am to 12:30 pm
|Sales at SHKP malls*
New Town Plaza in Sha Tin (7 and 8 March)
*Note: Dates subject to change without notice.