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Relaxation Station - Ways to cheer someone up

Happy Birthday and Happy New Year are two of the common things we say on special occasions, and we suggest that ‘happiness’ is considered a universal goal. But how can we achieve it?

Some people face hard times with optimism, while others only moan and groan. Whereas health, wealth and the course of events are beyond our control on many occasions, attitude is the only thing in our own hands.

I often have patients sharing their stories with me, such as one who lost a family member due to illness. The patient gradually recovered from her grief and has become more cheerful, so I asked how she put herself back together. She said: “The family supported one another and there were caring friends whom I am grateful to. I also realized how much I already have that is worth treasuring.” Having modest wants and a thankful heart, together with a disposition to see the positive side of adversity are the keys to overcoming difficulties.

Then there is the Chinese proverb that the spectators see the chess game better than the players do. This is why support from family and friends is so important in a crisis when you are overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions. It may be hard for the sufferer to just change their perspective, but an outsider’s encouragement can help. Here are some suggestions for being supportive:

  1. Be positive yourself to spread the optimism.
  2. Be empathetic and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
  3. Provide company and a pair of ears, even if you can’t do anything to change the facts.
  4. Show your care verbally or through body gestures; even a small pat or a hug might help.

We could be happier in life’s journeys if everyone started developing a thankful attitude and was content with their lot. I wish you all the best.

Dr Chan Ka Yee, Psychiatrist
(Mental Health Photographic Society)

Please note that the advice here is of a general nature only. Readers are advised to consult a physician or other professional before making decisions on the topics covered above.

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