Cultivate affection by 5 principles
Home can be a safe, warm place or a source of pain and heartbreak; it all depends on the domestic atmosphere and interactions within the family.
People are usually open with their families and share their feelings, and also have high expectations of family members. This can easily trigger quarrels or disputes leading possibly to dismay or disappointment. Think about couples who become increasingly distant after marriage with love ebbing or even giving way to animosity. Think about parents and children who develop growing tensions with no feasible solutions to be found.
You can cultivate affection by following these principles to prevent relationships from being strained in your family:
- Be forgiving. No one is perfect, so we should be tolerant of others and not criticize maliciously or be too picky. Spiteful words hurt too. Try to be lenient and offer genuine forgiveness.
- Cherish each other. Family is like a gift and should be treasured. It is up to married couples to keep their bonds, parents to care for children, children to be grateful and siblings to be harmonious. Intimate ties result from cherishing.
- Show your appreciation. Not everyone has family members to care for them, so let them feel your gratitude for what they do with messages, phone calls and in person. It can be a good idea to do something to show appreciation. Chinese people tend to keep feelings to themselves, which often produces misunderstanding or inhibits relationships from growing. Saying more positive things helps build family bonds.
- Build a collection of happy memories. Life is not always full of happiness, so try to arrange family activities that everyone can take part in and enjoy. This could lead to discovering new interests and unleashing one’s potential and producing happy memories to treasure, which can be the basis for flourishing family relationships.
- Be supportive. Families have to overcome crises sooner or later. Family members should stand together to face adversity and find solutions, without complaining or staying aloof. Hardship can help build patience and resolve, so that the family can weather storms and live to see a rainbow. Hardship can also be a source of strength if handled well, and many families become closer after going through difficult times.
Dr. Anthony TONG, Clinical Psychologist
(Mental Health Photographic Society)
Please note that the advice here is of a general nature only. Readers are advised to consult a physician or other professional before making decisions on the topics covered above.